To consecrate means to make or declare something sacred, or to devote exclusively to a divine purpose. When speaking of consecrating marriages, consider what that actually looks like within a relationship with a spouse.
Consecrating involves sacrifice. In marriage, Satan will tempt individuals to set expectations of manifestations of love. When expectations are not met, feelings of resentment, irritation, loneliness, and distance develop. If these feelings continue, the tendency to escape the disappointment through various means including divorce is quite common. But, first, remember the Savior. Goddard stated, "I think that is how Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. 'Is there any way out? I don't think I can bear it!' Yet He did bear it. And in bearing it, He saved us. Had He not honored His covenant over His peace and comfort, all of us would be everlastingly lost." (Goddard, 2009) I can endure negative emotions and search for positive solutions to my problems. Marriage is not meant to be blissful at all times. I need to remember my devotion to my spouse and the covenant I made. If I can do that, I can sacrifice my pride and selfishness, and remain committed to my husband and God.
The talk by Elder Robbins titled "Agency and Anger" had some more great suggestions to help marriages remain consecrated. He explained that Satan would like us to believe that anger is out of our control, that anger is genetic or is caused by some outside influence. The Joseph Smith Translation (JST) of Matthew 5:24 states, "But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother... shall be in danger of the judgment." The portion that stated "angry with his brother without a cause" was removed from the inspired JST. The reason for my anger is unimportant. It's more important to exercise control over myself. This is an area I could work on. Does this mean I, or my husband, should never have negative feelings? Absolutely not. Gottman stated, "When you are in pain, the world stops and I listen. This is true even when your partner’s anger, sadness, disappointment, or fear is directed at you." It is difficult to filter meaning through strong emotions but that is what I should strive to do. I should strive to see my husband with a loving perspective and understand his actions are not meant to hurt or offend, no matter if his delivery is less than ideal.
Lastly, "Consecration is a covenant that moves us from asking how we can get our needs met to asking how we can bless and serve...Rather than wondering if this marriage is a good investment that will pay us a handsome return, we ask for heavenly grace that we may love and serve as Jesus served-without thought of reward. While there are destructive relationships that should end, the vast majority of relationships can survive and flourish if each of us brings our whole soul as an offering." (Goddard, 2009) As I strive to live more as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I will be able to find ways to serve my husband and look past his imperfections to see the son of God he is, and will become. Consecration is choosing not to react with anger when my husband says something I perceive as offensive. It is finding a way to productively communicate my needs when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It is making an effort to connect when my husband even when I've had a bad day. It is becoming more Christlike while also strengthening my relationship between my husband and God.
REFERENCES
Goddard, H.W. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage (2009). Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.
Gottman, John. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (p. 157). Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale. Kindle Edition.
Robbins, Lynn G. “Agency and Anger,” Ensign, May 1998, 80.
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