Importance of Humility

Photo Credit: https://isha.sadhguru.org/us/en/wisdom/article/stop-being-stingy-with-selfishness

Pride is the source of much conflict. President Ezra Taft Benson stated, "Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance." This statement makes it tempting to remain in ignorance since, as the saying goes, it is bliss! But, alas, the ways in which pride manifests itself is anything but blissful. It is important to learn about pride. Once we have knowledge of what pride is we can more easily recognize it and eliminate it from our lives. Before reading this week I would have described pride as selfishness and boastfulness. President Benson clarifies the actual definition of pride. To help us better understand he stated, "The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” (Benson, 1989) Any synonyms the average person would use to describe pride actually have enmity as its core. Selflessness and love of God and repentance are the cure.

 In Goddard's book Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage emphasis is given toward repentance. Often in marriage we may assume that if our spouse would change, our problems would be solved. Dr. Goddard made an excellent point when he said, "Some years ago God taught me an ironic truth. I don't have the right to correct anyone I don't love. You see the irony! I am inclined to correct my partner when I don't feel loving. When I do feel loving, irritations roll off my soul like water on a duck's back." I know in my own marriage, if I'm feeling especially irritable, that is the time I want to make the most corrections. When I'm in a good mood, however, I can more easily let things go and express myself calmly without agitation. One of my most difficult struggles is learning the art of self-control, especially when I'm feeling extra irritable or stressed.

Another way to curb the tendency toward pridefulness is to be aware of our spouse's needs and allow them to influence our decision making. I identified with many of the points made within Chapter 7 of Dr. Gottman's book. I have been married for 13 years and I have seen the growth that has taken place within our marriage. Many of the arguments that occurred early on had to do with this failure to respect and honor each other, which I didn't recognize at the time. When we take the time to truly consider one another's feelings, we feel more loving toward each other and resolve conflict quickly. 

I remember a time when my husband and I had a disagreement. It was pretty heated and we cooled off for an hour or so in separate rooms. When my husband came back to me he apologized. He said, "Sometimes it's just hard because you're always right." I laugh at this statement now. At the time I wasn't sure whether to be offended at his perceived sarcasm. But he explained that he's noticed I often have ideas that work better and are more thought out and are, therefore, "right" and he sometimes has a difficult time accepting a different approach when it wasn't his idea. This is a perfect example of all of the above! We need to stay humble, repent, and allow our spouse to influence us in positive ways to keep a strong and happy marriage!

References:

Benson, Ezra Taft, "Beware of Pride." General Conference. April 1989. 

Goddard, H.W. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage (2009). Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.

 

Gottman, John. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (p. 88). Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale. Kindle Edition.