In Goddard's book "Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage," his main focus is for spouses to become disciples of Jesus Christ. In each chapter Goddard emphasizes how changing our hearts in a specific area will improve our marriages. The change of heart basically goes hand-in-hand with the teachings of the gospel. As I have read through this book I have seen the truth to his words amplified in my own marriage. On days when I have a good attitude and focus on Christlike thoughts/activities, my interactions with my husband are nothing but positive. However, when I'm having a negative day or especially negative feelings, those flaws I overlooked just yesterday are suddenly glaring and seemingly impossible to ignore. I have found Goddard's approach to be absolutely true.
In Gottman's book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" his overarching message is to strengthen the marriage through strengthening connections between spouses. Each chapter focuses on a new way to strengthen that connection, whether it be through resolving conflict or focusing on positive qualities of our partner. This book helps spouses identify weaknesses in their marriage with tools to strengthen those weak points. Through completing the quizzes I was able to concretely identify what areas of my marriage are strong and what areas need a little work. Self-evaluation is always a good thing because it allows us to see where improvement is possible.
One key way Gottman shares to identify these weaknesses in our marriage is through the "marital poop detector." Gottman teaches spouses to be aware of any trouble within the marriage, no matter how minor. Instead of waiting for the minor issues to become large before addressing it, spouses should address issues early on in order to prevent it from becoming detrimental to the success of the marriage. A conversation with a soft start-up should take place between spouses to discuss nay underlying problems. If we can keep our expectations for our marriage high, studies have proven high qualities marriages will follow. Instead of putting up with negativity and brushing issues under the rug, Gottman encourages spouses to address the negativity early on while it's still easier to fix. (Gottman, pp. 220-221)
Between acting in Christlike ways, focusing efforts on strengthening marriage, and addressing identified weaknesses, any marriage following the advice of these two books is guaranteed success and marital satisfaction!
References
Goddard, H.W. Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage (2009). Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing.
Gottman, John. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale. Kindle Edition.
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